


Choosing Forever

by Little Grey Gargoyle (silasfinch), silasfinch



Series: Our Choices [7]
Category: Bodyguard (TV 2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Family Feels, Fluff, Gen, Julia Montague Lives, Series, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2020-09-01 06:53:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20253973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silasfinch/pseuds/Little%20Grey%20Gargoyle, https://archiveofourown.org/users/silasfinch/pseuds/silasfinch
Summary: The Weeding Fluff I couldn't help writing or Julia writes vows and wrangles wearing heels28/08/20 The Big Day





	1. Plans

_The day we met,_

_Frozen I held my breath_

_Right from the start_

_I knew that I'd found a home for my heart_

_Beats fast_

_Colors and promises_

_How to be brave?_

_How can I love when I'm afraid to fall_

_But watching you stand alone?_

_All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow_

_One step closer_

A Thousand Years - Christina Pirri

**Landscapes **

Planning for the wedding highlights their differences.

Its taken years of counselling for both David and Julia to understand how to approach personality and ideological conflicts. The endless cycle of fighting and makeup sex in risky places is thrilling but not overly practical when your share bills and school runs. David knows that therapy, love and time together lessen the extremes in both their personalities.

Life is no longer a series of secrets and misdirections for either the army or parliament. He likes the person Julia Montigue is helping him become and how brave she was to confront the loss of identity and the concept of an instant family.

David doesn't interfere with the planning overly much. There are several 'hard limits' regarding the budget and location. He will contribute evenly to the event, regardless of their differences in class, and doesn't want to break the bank in the process. Julia does 't have an extravagant or exotic taste and shy away from big spectacles with peacocks and monogrammed fireworks.

_"Let my ex-husband and his almost child bride design a spread worthy of the Daily Mail. Rumour has it they will have a 14 tier wedding cake and six opera singers at the reception. Poor Roger is lactose intolerant and will have an interesting time" Julia sniggers. _

If only the woman didn't have such firm ideas about flowers and ceremonies.

"There is no way your mother is spending this much on flowers for the day; she has a perfectly functioning greenhouse in the garden."

"Mother is excited for us, Darling let her share in the day, what harm can it do?"

David glowers incredulously as he chops vegetables for Salad, neatly mixing the different coloured peppers and small cucumbers. As usual, Julia is in charge of the wine and musical selections for the evening. Briefing and trial notes cover the kitchen table, but Ella skilfully navigates them as she sets the table.

"There are different ways to express affection than spending thousands of pounds on rare antique hybrid tulip cultivation, love," David argues as he stirs the source.

"My grandmother bred them originally, and it's through your green thumb..." Julia begins

"Oh come on Dad you know Julia comes from a wealthy family, Mum always says let people be who they are. Mrs Montigue is a rich person who likes flowers and pretty things. Julia is her only kid" Ella interjects reasonably.

"Ok fine- I surrender you two."

In a way, Ella is right; loving Julia means accepting her background just as much as she takes on his roots. The years of therapy and consistent support for his flashbacks have shifted his ideological focus somewhat and strengthed it in other ways.

_"My disagreements with your party aren't reflective anymore, not after meeting so many of you up close and seeing you in your natural habit. Now I plan my arguments carefully and concisely." is David's running joke on the topic. _

David admits to himself that he likes the idea of Julia paying tribute to her family as she wants down the aisle even if the flowers are finicky about growing.

***

**Legalities **

Frankly, David couldn't care less if Julia takes his name.

Even in the 21st century, his stance on the issue earns him are a fair amount of teasing from the guys at work. The friendship ties aren't as strong as the ties in the army, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing. Andy and the others lost touch with reality because they couldn't see past life as a soldier. David becomes a murder suspect and an easy target for framing because he isolated himself from any potential sources of help.

"It honestly doesn't bother me, Julia."

"People give you such a hard time about marrying someone older and a Tory, wouldn't you like some level of recognition?"

"Aye, but its no worse than the scrutiny you face every day. The people who know us are sensible about such things. Roger will be unbearable about the wedding either way" David offers with a shrug.

On a purely practical level changing her name presents unique challenges while her career isn't high profile anymore. There are security and professional factors to consider. The name Julia Montingue has a certain level of recognition and reputation. The attack at Saint Mathew's solidifies her status as a national status symbol either for good or ill.

"Plenty of women have one name in their professional life and another one at home. Now that we have something approaching a personal and a balance and a PR team. I'm sure I can handle two sets of stationery and paperwork" Julia muses with a smile.

David pulls his fiancee into a loose hug gently swaying them together in time to the music playing lightly in the background. The experience of quiet time together without the fear of interruption, scandal or crisis is still something of a novelty. Julia approaches problems from a different angle now, without the red box and adrenaline.

"The children have the last name Budd, and it would be too confusing them to see me change mine, but I am not opposed to the notion. The press will dub me Mr Montigue for a while anyway" David offers

"Let's not add fuel to that particular fire."

***

**Loyalties**

The Budd Family are well represented in the wedding invitations.

Most of them have made their peace with David's choice. He was already the odd one for choosing a life away from Scotland in the army. As a rule, the Budds didn't travel far, an easy target for the troubles that plague parts of Glasgow. David spent many years trying to forgive or forget the more dysfunctional members of his family.

Learning to understand and processes trauma, and its many labels give him an appreciation of the intergenerational problems that can visit some families. Weddings are a time for healing and if nothing else Ella and Charlie get to interact with distant Scottish relations for more than a fleeting visit.

To David's surprise, many cousins and extended relatives came forward to defend him when the coverage of the assassination attempt came forward. The events were moving too fast for any of the local media coverage to make the national headlines. A few family members confine in him about their mental health struggles after the recussion.

On the whole, he enjoys reconnecting with Scotland and sharing this knowledge with his children. The memories of hard times, deprivation and arguments aren't nearly as painful anymore."

"Are you going to wear tartan for the wedding photos, Dad?" Charlie asks earnestly as they a selecting groceries."

"Not all families can claim a tartan of their own; The Budds were from all over before landing in Glasgow. If Julia wants it, we can wear ones that signify where we are from" David doesn't want to go into a full lecture."

"You will both look handsome whatever you wear," Ella says loyally.

***

**Logistics **

"We are not getting married in a fortress, and you are not carrying a weapon down the aisle."

David winces at the firmness in Julia's tone and the rigid set of her posture. It is a testament to all her hard work in therapy that the formidable Julia Montigue is back to her striding intimating best. This argument is going round in circles, but he can't get past the idea of protecting his future bride from any possible threat.

Most of the historic estate in London is lovely and picturesque but not overly practical from a security perspective. While others focus on lighting and table numbers, all David can see is vantage points for snippers and a disturbing lack of exit strategies. His anxiety tends to flare in cycles when he feels under pressure. The idea of being in public view is a terrifying and unavoidable trigger.

"We will everything running smoothing, David. The chatter is minimal at this point, but we will keep units patrolling the grounds to be safe." Deepak says reassuring.

"You have reviewed the maps and schematics at least 20 times. Please let us do our jobs. Focus on selecting the wedding cake or something. Sampson is paying us handsomely to stop you micromanaging." Louise offers encouragingly.

Her words aren't strictly exactly. Anne Sampson still feels a measure of professional humiliation and guilt that Craddock was able to operate so freely, and the Alli's were so convincing as false victims. The last thing she wants is for this weeding to stir up more controversy or unflattering headlines.

"Ok show me the plans for Julia's first choice again." David offers by way of compromise.

***

**Language **

They write personalised vows.

While both of them are from religious families, it is more theoretical than devout. As adults neither David nor Julia follow any particular faith, though both their first weedings were Church of England services. Second marriages challenge these conventions by default, and there is no way Julia Montigue promising to honour and obey anyone.

Ella is in the habit of reading out the romantic scenes from her favourite books or 'text stories' hoping to spark inspiration. The pre-teen seems genuinely confused that they aren't writing every spare minute of the day. It's essential to both Julia and David that the Budd children feel part of the celebrations, even to the point where they select roles for themselves. Charlie is going through a shy phase and doesn't want to stand at the front of the crowd.

Vicky is true to her word and works hard to stay in the role of supportive co-parent. There are flashes of jealousy when she sees how attentive David about providing a stable home for Julia to return to and how they are building a routine and wedding trinkets.

_"Being a starter wife is a real pain, all the word and none of the reward, you've trained him better than I ever could. Dave says more to you in a day than he did to me in a month" Vicky says after a few too many wines._

_"We met David at different times in his life. Our success at communication isn't natural to let me assure you" Julia replies diplomatically. _

_"Ella has it in her head to propose to her future suppose. Because you did it, she is going to be so disappointed that not all Tory women are like her Julia." _

_"I fear the day I tumble from her pedestal. The fear of disappointing your kids is one of the main reasons I resisted a serious relationship with David for so long."_

_"Something like that"_

_"Never mind the bomb threats, snippers and half the country thinking he tried to kill you in the act of mad revenge."_

"Ella is aware that I had speech writers and researchers for the majority of those big impressive talks, doesn't she?" Julia asks worriedly as they curl up in bed after settling the dog and the kids.

"Of course she does, but it doesn't matter when she admires you and is looking forward to the celebration. I think both of them are benefiting from having parents who are happy and not fighting anymore. Just go with it."

" I should just let Ella write them for me with all the luck I am having..." Julia confines as she kisses him tenderly.

"I'd advise against that, Darling, unless you are comfortable with pop songs and tragic romantic story arches with mages and magic" David warns with a chuckle.

"Is there are maximum word requirement or can I just say - I choose you for a long as you will have me?"

"You are overthinking this, Julia. There no perfect grade or formula. It's simply a public recognition of what we already know to be true." David is carefully removing his ring, placing it next to the campus he never goes anywhere without.

"I spent close to two decades crafting arguments and winning debates, yet I can't say a few words on how much I love you."

David gently pulls her against him and tangles their limbs together before reaching to massage the deep frown lines before trailing kisses against tense features.

"The words aren't important, but they will come when you need them."

Even when the fate of Britain resting on her ability to make decisions, kissing David Budd was always dangerously distracting. Now they are more than a politician and protection officer, but the effect remains in place. All her senses tuned to his body and their time together. Scars, words and vows will still be there in the morning.

Julia could write a novel of intimate moments when he kisses her.

***

**Lasting **

Julia Montague isn't remotely superstitious.

When you are groomed to become a successful lawyer and member of the Montigue legacy, there is little room for luck. Decades in politics solidify this opinion, mainly the backroom deals and inherent corruption. Roger isn't entirely wrong when he talks about their profession needing a particular breed of people. Julia Montague may be changing, but there is no way she is caving to ridiculous beliefs about weedings and second weddings in particular.

The tailor doesn't say a word when David accompanies her for the dress fitting.

Her wedding dress needs to be functional rather than elaborate. Not only does Julia acknowledge the changes of age, but she can't hide from her scars and bodily changes. The scars are still sensitive to particular kinds of fabric, and there are always occasional problems with balance to consider with heels. Julia won't draw attention to the scars on her body, but she won't hide from them either. Makeup can only do so much without becoming industrial and medical grade.

Julia wants to wear this dress at other special occasions, on their honeymoon in France or at Ella's graduation. She wants to make David smile for years to come not keep an expensive outfit just for a single day of memories. Too many memories were taken away from both of them in the past. Now life is about making memories together as a family in all but name.

David is amazingly talented at selecting outfits that serve dual purposes; the knowledge comes from his years in the army and working in security. The right clothing is vital for making the mission a success. Not in a Sex and City kind of way but a life on the line scenario.

Julia suspects he worries about her dignity while standing for such long periods and walking during some of the more elaborate shots for the photographer. The injuries to her pelvis and hips are chronic and often flare up in unusual ground or paving.

"We are not looking at any heel higher than 2-inch heels no matter what the blogs say."

"Are you sure Vera Wang has a wonderful new collection..." the shop assistant tries to argue.

"I didn't spend hours refreshing my dance skills to have you topple over defying gravity" David whispers as they weave amongst the shelves.

"You can't make every detail problem proof, love. We can survive a slight deviation in plans. I was in heals while you were finger painting after all."

". I've strapped enough dislocated ankles to last a lifetime much less a honeymoon. I want you in full working order, Ma'am" he proclaims firmly.


	2. Contract Negotiations

_ Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone _.

Julia and David live their vows long before they formalise the commitment. 

The bride and groom are making compromises wherever possible, and by and large, the wedding preparations are going smoothly. The lack of drama is disappointing to the resident paparazzi, but even the coverage is mostly positive. There are far too many adjectives and comparison to Shakespeare for David's taste, but it makes a change from hounding Julia. 

Ella and Charlie are adjusting to the new situation and planning with ease. While they are both typical representations of teenagers at types, by and large, they give their parents little grief. A former soldier, a nurse and the former head of British security as parental figures makes rebelling and shock value a trifle difficult. 

David and Julia are both practical people to the point of anxiousness. 

The years since the multiple assassination attempts and conspiracies have lessened the intensity. However, therapy can only do so much, especially when they are dealing with so many unusual circumstances. There is a feeling of vulnerability that never entirely goes away even though the leading players of the conspiracy are in jail. Night terrors are in the fabric of their lives. Control and routines are two ways to manage their feelings.

"We need to make arrangements before the ceremony. A friend from law school has outlined the basics, but nothing will fundamentally change given how we make most decisions together anyway. Marrying a Montigue comes with the paperwork I'm afraid." Julia explains with an apologetic shrug. 

"Marrying a Budd comes with children and challenging political ideologies, complete with dogs and annual trips to Scotland" David quips with a smile. 

"I got the better end of the bargain." Julia disagrees as she neatly stacks the documents in chronological order. 

If the decisions were up to Julia, everything would be fo to David and the kids outright. However, there were investments and shares to consider that do not belong to her alone. Marrying anyone presents complication but entering a union closer to forty than not means that there are more belongings in play. 

***

The prenuptial paperwork is not legally binding but is extensive. 

Britain does not favour prenuptial agreements in general. According to the rumour, the royal family didn't bother with such things. Julia and Roger did the bare minimum at his parent insistence. Proceedings will be different this time around. Julia Montague has always found comfort in the law and the protections it provides if appropriately executed. There are many more factors to consider than with her first marriage. 

"I don't want your money, keep everything in the Montigue Family Trust. The funds for the kid's university education is more than enough; Ella already wants to follow you into law."

Julia is hoping for an informal discussion of assets and wills David has a stubborn set to his jaw, which reminds his lover of the first days of their professional relationship. A former colleague and family friend wrote the documents, and to her mind, they are fair and reasonable. She needs to tread carefully because working-class Scott sensibilities are at play. 

"That's more logical than practical, Darling. Our lives were always going to intermesh financially."

"We are not going to add fuel to the fire that I am with you for your money but naming me a beneficiary of your will." David retorts sharply 

"So instead we are going to make important life decisions because of the endless rumour and gossip. Save Mum and a few cousins I have no close relatives. You are the most logical choice, and this should operate no different than any other next of kin arrangement" Julia feels like a strange combination of a lover and a contract law professor. 

"I don't want this clinical division of assets. Julia; I am marrying you not the long and illustrious line of Montagues."

"Nobody likes the process of dividing assets and writing legal death preparations. Why do you think so many eastes are a mess and drag out for years? We are both on second marriages and public targets to a lesser or greater extent; We need to make provisions. My mother and the Montigue Trust are well taken care of within these documents."

"We can make any provisions you won't barring the ones where I have access to money that was yours decades before we met. I don't need nor do I want three more zeros in my bank account, least of all profiting off anything happening to you."

"It's not about that David, it about recognising a legal union and your position in my life, not body has loved me better." 

"I don't need a paycheck to know you love me."

***

"We are kicking the proverbial hornet's nest by marrying; it will draw public attention and potentially Alli loyalist. You need to learn to defend yourself properly."

David Budd strides around the small gym space, bouncing lightly on the soft mats before testing the straps of a boxing pad. This building is far from the glamourous wellness spas the Montigue family frequents. Paint is peeling, and the posters look several decades out of date. 

Julia Montague can think of better things to do on a free weekend. Her caseloads are as ridiculous as ever, and David is working long hours after the promotion. She agrees to the suggestion readily because its an easy way to keep the place and broach the topic of paperwork without talking in circles. 

"Are you sure my leg will hold up to the pressure?" Julia asks more out of habit than genuine concern. 

"We will be testing and building your stamina gradually. I'll teach you techniques that don't rely on that side so much. Soldiers learn to compensate for weakness and asymmetry all the time. Your experience won't be much different. 

"Have you taught many middle-aged career desk jockeys than, Sergent Budd?" Julia teases softly 

"I am not sending you to witness the Torries's war first hand; Madame Secretary just enough to defend yourself should the need arise," David explains patiently. 

Julia does feel more confident on her feet. The pain in her hip and side will never entirely ease. The human nervous system does poorly under the pressures of explosive devices, but regular care and David's diligence see consistent improvements. 

***

Surprisingly some of their most intimate conversations in the next few weeks stem from the self-defence lessons. It thrills Julia how well her body is holding up to more strenuous exercise as long as she rests in-between times. Gaining strength and resilience in such a tangible way feels like a victory over the people who worked so hard to end her life.

"You need to stop assuming that an attacker is going to follow a practicable sparring pattern. The goal is to protect yourself and get away from the attacker." 

Julia smiles up at her lover and teacher from his position on the floor. The push to the floor is gently, but the message is clear. He won't be easy on her during their exercise sessions. 

Julia scrambles back to her feet, testing the weight on her weak foot. She moves through the sequences under his instruction. He adjusts her arms and stance whispering corrections and demonstrating the corrections.

"Do your scars hurt when moving like this?" Julia asks curiously as she traces a sweaty hand across the burns and scars. 

David flinches almost instinctively but does not shut down the line of conversation as he reaches to wipe away sweat. He takes a long drink of water before replying. 

"Sometimes, but things are more comfortable now that I am sensible about strain and creams. Your scars will become something similar, sorry I couldn't be a better advertisement for such things." 

Julia places a kiss on his bare shoulder and runs her hands against his skin in a soothing gesture. Periodically they both have bouts of insecurity about physical scars and appearances. Communication is vital during these moments. 

"You are an advertisement for survival and overcoming which means the world to me" Julia whispers steadily "besides if I let any of the PR team see you right now, they would insist on mocking up military romance covers. Scars and a certain level of damage are all the rage" Julia informs with a teasing smile. 

It is a testament to their relationship progress that David doesn't get angry and such a teasing comment. He returns the smile before handing over the water. Throughout the years he makes a tentative peace with her public life even as a former government official. This acceptance includes his overhyped role as some dashing hero from the Highlands. Why let the fact that Glasgow is a modern city with little to do with the stereotype type of Mel Gibson's Braveheart wreck a story worth telling?

"You are the only person I am willing to pose for any position Madame Secretary, scars and all" he informs her gravely. 

"I wasn't especially worried about seeing you on the latest Nora Roberts novel or in the casting for the next Austen variation, but that is still a relief to know."

***

The Julia Montigue of five years ago wouldn't dream of spending the weekend running through a serious of cross fit and delf defence routines. 

Ella likes to joke that this weekend tradition is to look good in the dress and kilt. In truth, the silence of the private gym studio (run by a friend of David) is comforting. Some of their most intimate came during her rehabilitation. 

"I wish I met you when I was younger so that we could at least discuss the possibility of children together."

David looks up from the pushups he is doing beside her. They are working out in companionable silence. Her lover looks ready to spring into his customary defensive of the age difference, but Julia holds up a hand to forestall his argument. 

"Hear me out, David; I don't regret not having biological children or playing a role with Ella and Charlie. I think my mistake was dismissing entirely because the marriage to Roger brought out my worse qualities. Being in a relationship with you or someone like you might have changed or challenged such an implacable decision." 

"It's not too late to consider the posibility, plenty of people have children later nowadays, especially with the state of the economy" David reasons quietly. 

"Excellent sideways dig at the party, Darling. The decision is too late for, the lawyer in me is too practical to enter the rounds of IVF and treatments unless I wanted a child above everything else."

"You will always have Ella and Charlie in your life. Heaven forbid, there will be a future generation of Budds in a decade or so. You aren't marrying me alone; you know" David reasons before giving her a quick hug. 

"I can think of no better use for the Montigue funds than securing the future of the people that I love" Julia agrees.

"I am still not signing the papers. You mean more to me that pounds in the bank."

"I knew that the second night stayed in France and let me vomit all over your dress shirt. The money doesn't change things either way."

***

"I am not as stable as Dr Jones thinks or expects me to be."

David's quiet and almost nervous tone makes Julia pause in her warm down stretches. He is sitting on the weight bench with his fingers absentmindedly fingering the scar in his hairline. There is a faraway and pensive look in his eyes that makes Julia's heart clench in love and sympathy. 

"We both knew that recovering from our own wounds would take a long time, Darling. Occasional slips and regressions are par for the course" Julia tries to strike a balance between firm and soothing.

"I was such an easy target for Lorriane and the rest. Pinning your 'murder' on me would be child's play; the second Louise and Deepak put the pieces together. The plot to strap me to a suicide vest is pointless melodramatic theatre. Few people could confidently defend me against the chargers even Vicky and the kids."

"David, we were both easy targets in different ways..."

"I didn't even think of my children when racing around London, breaking too many laws to count. PTSD or whatever variation can explain some of the behaviours but not all. Should somebody with my track record be in charge of a small fortunate?"

"Those were a series of extreme events that not even the keenest minds could handle well, manipulation after manipulation. Crumbling under those pressures doesn't make you any less honourable or trustworthy. Anne Sampson said as much in your profile report".

Julia can see where David is coming from to a point. Extreme behaviour and money do not make a good combination most of the time. The Montague family is not overly wealthy by elite British standards, but it would fund plenty of actions and activities inside and outside of the law. 

"I still don't want absolute control. I'll be your next of kin and make all the medical decisions, but I don't want full access to everything."

"If that's the way you want thinks. I will call Oscar tomorrow, and he will redraw with monitoring stipulations." 

***

"I'll sign these on two conditions." 

Julia blinks in surprise as David holds the legal folders with a pen. The actions are symbolic, given that the lawyers will need to witness the filing. His gentle smile and earnest expression make Julia relax. The tension of the last few days easing. The conditions will be worth it if they can go back to arguing about the first dance and flowers. 

"I want there to be a provision in the document that my actions are reversible if the majority of the trust board and our families think there is something wrong. I'll give the doctors full permission to share my history and offer opinions" David begins seriously. 

Julia takes the documents and carefully pulls her future husband down to sit beside her. His arms are firm with tension underneath the light workout clothes. David does come willing and doesn't hold in of the frantic anxiety that marks previous conversations. 

"The system doesn't work quite like that, Love but we can make a similar stipulation if that would make you feel better." 

"Aye, the main problem when I first came home was that everything, including my troubles, was kept a secret. The ghost manoeuvres from MI5 and MI6 were so successful because I didn't allow any checks and balances" David agrees firmly. 

Julia kisses him on the cheek and rests her head on his broad shoulder. The familiar scent and sensation are comforting even during serious conversations. Roger possesses the talent of sitting through uncomfortable discussions without trying to win them. She wasn't any better at calming him even in the heady early days of the marriage. Maybe the ability to do such simple things is the sign of a lasting relationship. 

"What is your second condition?"

David rearranges their positions so that they are facing each other and holding hands loosely. He smiles easily and strokes her cheek before continuing the conversation. 

"If we separate I don't want you to consider any maintenance payments or settling out outstanding debts. Everything you have given the kids and me up until this point is more than enough. You will always earn 10x more than I do. Any other arrangement wouldn't be fair given our comparative incomes long term."

"Such things are precisely why these laws exist, David."

"I am not taking anything from you that wasn't jointly brought," David says firmly "You won't win this one."

"Wouldn't the tabloids find it disappointing that we are discussing such mundane aspects as devoice plans and legal reviews? It's all terribly mundane." 

"But logical given our past experiences and future together" David offers with a shrug. 

"I love you even if you are too critical of my uppercut and jab combinations." 

Julia gently pushes them down onto the mat tangling their limbs together and kissing him soundly as he laughs and strokes her hair. She feels a little self-conscious at her old clothes and sweaty appearance. Julia was planning a romantic celebration with candlelight; there won't be too many opportunities for alone time in the coming weeks. Preparing for a wedding also means setting everything in order before taking time off work. 

There is no way she is taking legal briefs on her honeymoon this time. 


	3. A Night to Remember

_ "It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being."  _

_ ― John Joseph Powell, The Secret of Staying in Love _

"Please don't limit your celebrations on my account, Darling?"

"Such considerations go both ways, Julia, why didn't you take up Emma and Penelope's offer of a dinner party with champagne at least?" David counters knowingly. 

This conversation is a familiar one and plays out again without many resolutions. One of the ways David and Julia try to acknowledge the differences between them is by offering freedoms and connections to the past that was the foundation of their troubles early on. Economic and political necessity requires Julia to have still relationships with several people that may or may not be part of the conspiracy without concrete evidence. Both Julia and his counsellor encourage David to keep connections with some of his former units even if they still believe some extreme prospects. 

The couple in question are spending the night before their wedding together eating a quiet dinner at home with Lido the dog destroying a new toy at their feet. To the disappointment of their friends and the public are large there is party or celebration to write up in the papers. Ella and Charlie willing spend that day with them finalising last-minute details for their central roles in the ceremony. David is almost satisfied with the security and legal arrangements, and they both felt a level of relaxed excitement for the festivities. 

"I adore both those girls but neither of them can hold their alcohol anymore and will doubtlessly start making crude jokes and jibes with all the cliches. What about the army buddies?" Julia gestures to his phone, which is vibrating. 

"Parties lost their appeal may years ago as for the hypothetical stripper you were implying" David shoots her an amused glance." I'd spend the whole time worried about the potential for Eastern European trafficking or wanting to integrate her about family support structures." David confesses with a sheepish smile. 

"That's possibly the saddest and sweetest thing to say. Always the bodyguard?" Julia agrees affectionately reaching to squeeze his hand. 

Instead of answer directly, David moves to top up their wine glasses. They both have a new love for French vintages. This whole evening is littered with memories of time together. His future mother in law insists on cooking dinner for them, and Julia's favourite dessert is heating in the oven. There is music to photos in every corner of the home. Without saying so directly, each appreciates the calmness and peace far more than over the top celebrations. 

"So instead we will have a lovely dinner from my mother and start planning out the rest of our lives or something like the old songs go?" Julia seeks clarification while laughing. 

David agrees as he swirls the red in the bottom of his glass. The night is still early, and they have the night to themselves for the most part. Truthfully tomorrow is going to be a wonderful occasion but always a considerable test of their individual and couples therapy. A wedding day is a definition of being the centre of attention, and neither of them is entirely comfortable with that anymore. Julia Montague is born with instincts for it, but the scars of the long trauma run deep. It's not like there are too many support groups for public officials who survive multiple assassination attempts. 

***

"Do not push your leg tomorrow; we can dance for the rest of our lives; there is no need to tear anything." 

Somewhat in opposition to his warning, David spins Julia around their living room and impromptu dance floor. He will never claim the skills of the Cambridge and Oxford set, but he doesn't embarrass his fiancee either. There is a similar rhythm to their steps, both with barely noticeable limps and war wounds. Julia is moving remarkably well, but she will always bear the effects of their assassination. Neither of them was meant to survive the attack, she as the victim and him and the scapegoat. Any progress beyond that, much less a wedding, is worth celebrating. There is a reason that Dr Lee has pride of place amongst the wedding guests. 

"I am not going to risk any amateur dramatics or flashmobs with my orthopaedic surgeon in the audience. I fully intend to enjoy the wedding night way from the hospital while we have some of our best moments in medical facilities. I want to break that trend." 

David laughs before starting to sway together without the dancing rhythm. They will be doing formal traditional dances in front of the crowds. However, the wedding itself won't be a massive party. The dance floor is largely for show and will be broken down by 1 pm. David insists that there is too much of a security risk. Neither of them can tolerate loud noises and background distractions, it feels disorienting and a little threatening. 

"A day discussing kidney function and pain management  _ with  _ you is better than most days without you, Julia. I fully intend to have the full spectrum of moments with you, including the medical. We are not using the typical Christian vows. But 'in sickness and health' is in there for a reason."

"Sometimes, I wish we were a couple that didn't have a comprehensive knowledge of each other's internal organs and physiology. A bride is meant to bring an air of mystery to the material bed after all." Julia complains as she rests more securely in his arms. 

"There is a reason your classified file covers several files; you will always be an enigma, Miss Montague, kidney function notwithstanding. We will have plenty of time to make new memories together. Wisdom and time are what can make second marriages to productive." David argues before kissing her hair softly. 

"You've been swallowing those books mother leaves around the house, haven't you? Next, we will be doing trust falls and 'Know your husband' games.?" Julia teases with a playing slap to his shoulder. 

"We will win such a contest in a heartbeat." 

***

Charlie and Ella manage to dupe them, and David is almost impressed by their guile. 

David Budd adores his children, but the words he spoke to Julia on the night of her proposal are true. His children will not have his childhood and thus need to develop a hard coping mechanism and emotional distance. Each of their parental figures lets them have the privacy of teenage life, but they won't hide the major stuff. 

"What is the puppy wearing around his collar?" Julia asks as she finishes her second piece of cake. 

David spots the addition to his collar and quickly summons him over. He still finds it amusing that Julia insists on calling Ledo a puppy all evidence to the contrary. The young dog is almost fully grown and is more or less a sensible and predictable creature. The bright boy name tag has competition in the form of a small scroll of paper or cardboard. David untangles the message with curiosity. He hands it to Julia with a theatrical struggle. 

"I think we have a new schedule for our quiet pre-wedding celebration. I  _ thought  _ your mother and the kids gave up on the party plans too quickly. 

" _ Follow the clues towards your wedding day. Don't worry Dad; everything is safe and within acceptable parameters."  _ the second part makes them both laugh. 

The note provides an outline to five of their favourite locations within easy walking distance, with careful marks and notions. The investigator within David cannot help but note the mixture of handwriting and typeface. The small pictures indicate the places without much effort, and the walk will take a little over 90 minutes. 

***

The first clue leads them to their favourite bench to sit after walking. 

London in summer is light and warm; they are far from the only couple taking a stroll. David feels a surge of gratification that he and Julia are managing to achieve something of a normal life with a level of anonymity. They will always be a couple living in the centre of one of the busiest cities in Europe, which makes the quiet moments even better. Julia likes to joke that she never saw the need for green spaces as a politician but certainly does now. Some of her favourite moments in their relationship include quiet walks around the town. 

"I think your children have a future as a strategist with such elaborate planning." Julia quips as she opens up the present as they watch Ledo playing with the other dogs. 

"I think this is the ultimate example of a second wedding, civilised and the consideration for factors such as sleep and convenient walking distances." David agrees, sitting closer to Julia to read the instruction. 

There is an elaborate and busy schedule of activities for the next month, which factors in their work schedules and community plans. The first in the list is a long group walk with humans and their dogs, for the rescue charity where they adopted the Ledo. Next to the schedule is are stickers and bibs heir names and numbers; complete with a jacket for the dog. The effort is so touching that it brings tears to David's eyes, and Julia reaches out her hand in support and tenderness. 

***

The second clue involves partners in crime who seem to enjoy the task. 

David and Julia sit at their favourite table at the coffee bar down the block. Ledo is curling up at their feet as they order the usual before accepting another message. Their adventure is far from the traditional pre-wedding celebration, but the children know them well enough to set a more sedate pace. After a long time in the army with such a poor integration back to civilian life, David is privately thrilled to gain a reputation as a boring and predictable Dad. The parents in their social group don't whisper about his time as a terrorism suspect anymore. This development is an improvement, alongside Julia being a lawyer (one amongst many) instead of the famous politicisation with a fierce reputation. 

"My mother did this gift, I recognise that handwriting and stationary anywhere," Julia says immediately when she picks unfolds the note. 

"The Montague script is distinctive, the beautiful R's and S's" David agrees with a tender smile. 

Elizabeth's gift is an access pass for the  _ Victoria and Albert  _ and several other local museums. There is a carefully handwritten guide to some of the best displays and exhibits that they could find interesting. There is a particular emphasis on Scottish history and the politics of the day; Da

David remembers his long conversations with Elizabeth about historical topics, his future mother in law pays close attention to his interests and passion. She may even understand his private insecurities about his lack of education opportunities. 

***

The third clue is outside the gym, where they practice self-defence. 

David trusts his children implicitly, and if they say this hunt for clues is safe, then there will be no danger to Julia. However, there is still a challenge to his soldier's instinct to let somebody else guide their direction. Ledo is many things, but he will not provide much protection if somebody strikes Julia. With the help of excellent therapy, David is no longer plagued by memories at every turn, but they will never go completely. 

"We have access to 5 lessons at the local dojo and registration for the next half marathon walk. In six months, everyone will be on the finish line, cheering us on, any funds we raise will go to veteran mental health." David reads out loud. 

"How lovely that can give us something to work towards, I'll look forward to our training work together. We can wager a fine bottle of red on the outcome." Julia speculates with a completive glint in her eye." 

"Not sure that's the purpose but I'll take that bet, Madame Secretary."

Their rehabilitation together and the development of a fitness regime is one of the strongest connections they have. Neither of them will ever enjoy 'perfect' health again, but all the various specialists are satisfied. David loves the idea of walking together and training for a fun event with the four-legged members of the family. Julia enjoys getting stronger and the ability to rely on her body in any future dangers or difficulties. 

"I'll even let you said the alarm for some ungodly hour on the weddings so that we can chase the dawn and starlings."

***

The fourth clue makes them both laugh and take the obligatory photo for the children. 

It's one of the best night markets that incorporates flavours from all over the world. Their usual spot has fairy lights and another message, complete with their initials. Julia takes charge of unwrapping the paper while working hard not to rip anything. She will keep all the momentoes in one of her many scrapbooks. David is vaguely concerned about who his children or future mother in law needed to bribe to get this prime location at this time during trading hours. It's yet another sign that they are building a small community within the sprawling city that is London, Louise and Depak or their team may be part of the fun or thee wedding planners were simply lucky. 

" _ This voucher entails you to four dates at this market in the next six months, complete with wine. All the trucks have the same note."  _ Julia reads, smiling broadly at the thoughtfulness. 

"Do you think everyone is trying to get us to gain 5kgs between us? I'm sensing a theme in these gifts." David asks as she reads through the paper. 

"I don't think it strictly matters to them as long as we can spend time together without crosschecking schedules and running between appointments. They know we won't take much of a honeymoon without some access to work." Julia explains as she glances around the venue. 

"What wonderful and thoughtful children that manage come out of all the chaos that was their childhood." David muses thoughtfully 

"None of that. You and Vicky are doing a fine job keeping Ella and Charlie on the rack track. This sweet memory hunt is proof that you are doing well. Popular opinion has children loathing future step-parents, but we are becoming a little family unit together, complete with all the modern blends." Julia insists as she kisses his cheek. 

***

The fifth clue takes them back to the beginning again. 

Their elves for the evening leave their final message in the garden pot that Julia brings back from France. The dwarf variety fo Elizabeth's favourite rose provides cover for the letter. David is almost positive that this is a new addition, but he won't challenge his children's innovation and sneakiness. He tries to turn off the practical side of his brain that always looking for explanations and strategies. Right now, he is a future groom and not a security officer with decades worth of training and almost double that in the army. 

"Don't fret. Our parameter is perfectly fine, and no hostiles are lurking in the bushes. You don't need to check our security protocols before we head to the church, Darling." Julia instructs firmly reading his body language in a glance. 

"Aye, it's simply hard to break the habit and so much training. Heck, how many months did it take me to stop walking the regulation distance behind you?" David agrees with a helpless shrug and a smile. 

"At least you stopped calling me Ma'am in Frace, that accent of yours is still a gift to people making an issue of our age gap." Julia quips as she hung up her coat. 

Their fifth and final gift was a beautiful collage of photos showing them together as a couple and with friends and family. Somehow, their visitors manage to get a few of the candied shots from France and their recovery time. Julia traces the selfie of David at the edge of the river, laughing at the antics of swans. David points his favourite memories with the children; his Scottish accent gets thicker with his emotion and sentimentality. The work is in a perfect frame to fit into the household, and Julia aches to place in the lounge. 

***

"We need to get some sleep; it's a long day tomorrow. If I have to suffer through early morning makeup, then you can mingle with the guests and run interference between the Glasgow Declination and John's clique." Julia insists quietly from the bed.

"Everything will be fine; your mother is a far more effective peacekeeping taskmaster than I will ever be. Even my old CO is intimidated by her or a little bit in love." David insists as he comes to bed. 

Julia makes the proclamation, but she knows that neither of them sleeps well anymore. No amount of therapy and quiet years is going to erase the inbuild personality traits, temperaments and training. The sentimental scavenger hunt is a wonderful diversion, and at least the late-night are happy. David is carefully putting all their gifts and cards on the shelf in the corner of the bedroom. 

"I can't wait to marry you, even if there is furniture flying and historically inaccurate references to the Scottish War for Independence. There were always going to be such things when a Tory marries a liberal from a long line of Glasgow union men." Julia confesses, pulling her future husband into a gentle embrace. 

"If our little scavenger proves anything, its that we can simply be David and Julia, outside the political realm. I can't wait to be your husband, either."

"It's worth every media fire and political controversy, who gives a name what name we will go by? I'm not one of Shakespeare's Montigue's who lives, dies or kills due to a name. I'll take Budd as a middle name and proudly, even when the questions and speculation starts." Julia declares sleepily. 

"If there is any time for your impressive intellect to take a break, Miss Montigue, it is the night before our wedding. If I had the ability, I would start quoting the sonnets and Shakespeare's commentary on an ever-fixed mark." 

David waits for a moment but realises that Julia is indeed asleep. Her head is resting on his shoulder. Despite being and living together for years, the casual intimacy that they manage to achieve still takes David by surprise at odd moments. Julia Montague does not trust people easily, and the start of their relationship was a minefield rather than a 'honeymoon phase.' The intensity of such emotions transforms into the desire to protect the new family unit. He is no longer a bodyguard and wouldn't take up that crazy life for anything. However, David Budd hopes to spend the rest of his life-giving Julia Montigue a sense of safety. 


	4. The Day

_ "I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate then when I fall asleep your eyes close." _

_ – Pablo Neruda, 100 Love Sonnets _

_ "I am constantly trying to communicate something incommunicable, to explain something inexplicable, to tell about something I only feel in my bones and which can only be experienced in those bones." _

Some vows will never be public. I work hard to have few secrets, but many things aren't for the public domain. 

My future wife is a former politician and well regarded public speaker. There can be little down our wedding will be the right combination of witty and charming. Julia may live a much more private life with modest ambitions, but the ability to perform is an innate skill. It's part of what makes civil servents so difficult to guard because they are usually always courting the publicity that personal protection officers are trying to avoid. We manage to compromise on all the major ceremony details. The flower arrangements were stunning and made Elizabeth so happy. 

I find myself relaxing on the day despite all the concerns and obsessive preparation. Colleagues from work offer to do the security pro bono and it comforts me to catch glimpses from of them out of the corner of my eye, even Julia gave me firm instructions to ignore any of the technical matters. Charlie and Ella were having the time of their lives getting ready and greeting everyone. They both got their social genes from Vicky. In a show of modern parenting, both Vicky and Oliver are here to keep everyone in line.

"How are you feeling, Darling? Do you want to go through any final details?" I made the offer as Julia is doing her final makeup expectation in the mirror. 

Tradition would have a separate for the big reveal, but Julia wants me there to run through everything once more. Occasionally here, anxiety with formal settings gets the best of her. We are light years away from the public speech and Saint Mathews, but some of the key triggers are still there, even on such a happy day. I would rather be present and helping her than out of the loop and thinking everything is going to plan. 

"I promise you won't need to play nursemaid the entire time, considering this whole thing was my bloody idea, in the first place. Could we run through the sequences again?"

"Hush now. The whole point of the official ceremony is helping each other through the tough times, do you think it makes to me if we get ahead of the vows by 15 minutes or so?" I try to coax a smile. 

My ploy works but Julia continues to tense as her bridesmaids attend the final details and double-check the placement of every flower and adornment. Julia's dress lives up to the expectations of the viewing; it compliments her skin tone and figures perfectly. The cut gives her the perfect range of motion. The running joke is the best thing about a second marriage is that nobody feels the need to make a fashion spectacle or resemble something of a magazine. Her shoes were the right level of support, balance and pretty. None of Julia's support crew challenge my presence or even tease us. 

I calmly to Julia through the events of the day and plans B C and D if things go wrong. Her big concern is not having the stamina to get through the main ceremony and socialising. These periods of incapacity are now, but one is enough to bring on the anxiety. The worst of Julia's injuries are on one side (on account of the way she was standing). This impact pattern means that she will always have trouble with one side and balancing her weight, not unlike soldiers. 

** 1: Our Scars Will Heal Together  **

My daughter is as she walks down the aisle. 

The service is a mixture of both our values. But long before the assassination attempt and our secret affair were both hurt by failures of the past. I feel a swell of pride, seeing the young woman my daughter is becoming. Ella loves the idea of a wedding and by extension, seeing her unconventional family happy. Julia jokes that there was no need to fork out for an expensive wedding planner when my daughter possesses a photographer memory for such details. I am so thankful that the Budd gift for memory is only in service to happy things rather than the horrors of war and battle. 

Ella is too busy concentrating on matching the music to notice my fatherly pride and dramas. She does deem to squeeze my hand before taking her place beside the other bridesmaids. At my side, Charlie offers her a quick thumbs up in acknowledgement. They smile as Vicky starts taking a truly unnecessary amount of photos while we wait for Julia to arrive. Elizabeth Montague will work her daughter down the aisle in place of her husband.

There is almost an industry built around grooms and their reactions to the bride. Until, the swell of the music and seeing Julia appear in the doorway, I would have scolded the sentimentality. I the term lovesick fool as mother and daughter make their stately procession, to the whispers and sighs of the whole crowd. 

Julia doesn't betray a hint of the nerves that were haunting her not moments before, and she doesn't take her eyes off me and her final destination. The Montague priest is beaming at the two generations of the family like a version fo a proud grandfather. There are plenty in more conservatives circles who do not approve of Julia's choice, but most respect the idea that she is happy after such a brush with death. 

"We are gathered here today..." 

** 2: I Will Keep Your Secrets and Let You Hide More.  **

** " ** We will grow together and build a far stronger foundation from our parts, the good and the bad, the different and the same." 

In the end, Julia does manage to write vows that almost meet her impossibly high standards (think Churchill during the war). While most of our 'backstory' and 'couple jokes' aren't for public consumptions, we have a few. There is only the slightest tremble in Julia's voice as she repeats the vows. The weight of the new rings on our fingers (still debating that one) is strange but also comforting. 

Julia Montague will always carry her secrets both for the crown and herself. There are words that I know she cannot say without lying. The hard truth is, we trust each other with our hearts, souls and families, but there will always be a higher honour. Julia is no longer the centre or even the inner orbit of politics, but that doesn't mean our ideologies will not cast us in opposing directions once again. We trust each other enough to make a life together and live with the secrets rather than 

The vows I offer a similarly brief but descriptive. The central theme is that we will communicate and work to be stronger together, recognising that our healing is still in progress. I don't have the personality to add to too many joints, but I add one or two. Mainly so that Charlie will smile and lament my bad humour. 

"I feel I can face my toughest strugglest and worst days because you are there to come home to share the load. Thank you for taking that first chance to believe in me and trust a novice with the all-important task of selecting French pastries." I say the last line almost passable French. 

I mean every word and intent to spend the rest of our days proving that. 

** 3: I Will Touch You Because Your Are Isolated By Expectation  **

There are many things I love Julia Montague, but her ability to survive is at the top.

"If anybody will forgive you running make up and a few tears, it will be guests and our wedding." I whisper against her ear. 

"Its force of habit, I know exactly how many photos we will be taking tonight and the team works so hard on my make up." Julia insists carefully dabbing at her eyes. 

"I'm happy to create a division if you need a full redo. They only need you in about 98% of the proceedings anyone."

Loving and living with Julia gives me a much greater appreciation for the art of presentation and that makeup isn't always for vanity or luxury. There are tiny networks of scars and skin damage from the bomb blasts that will never entirely heal. She is the one that will face the lion's share of the criticism and about the differences in our ages and the occasional grey hair. Telling Julia not to care or prepare in such ways would be patronising and insensitive. It's her comfort level, not mine to enforce. 

Making jokes about politicians losing their humanity is almost a right of passage where I grow up. However, what I learn from loving Julia is that they lose something almost more fundamental. The ability to perceive the difference between human needs and parts of being human that are crucial to living well. I am in no position to judge someone else's work/life balance, but it does change your perspective to see the toll such sacrifices take on people and their families. 

** 4: No Argument Will Send Me Away, Even the Spiteful Hits  **

My wife is dancing with a minor European royal. 

Every fibre of Labour loving soul resists and resents the presence of such a person at my wedding. My grandparents would be rolling in their graves. However, the particular royal in question was a classmate of Julia's at university and thoroughly decent man, who did his best to fly under the radar. Ella wants to boast to her friends that she is on a first-name basis with a prince, which makes me a little sick. Fortunately, Prince Fredrick isn't one of the British royals, so there isn't a ridiculous amount of press attention, now that they have the 7th or 8th grandchild on the way. 

"You are mellowing. The old David Budd wouldn't have stood to be in the same room with the man, much less letting his wife share a dance or two." Vicky teases me with a knowing smile. 

"Some, including you, would say that Old David Budd, got into tremendous trouble by being ideologically inflexible and hostile to all other views. There is a reason I was the target of framing, Vic." 

"Well, this is a cherry topic for a wedding isn't it, congratulations David. I am so glad you are happy."

"Thanks for being the best mum my kids could ask for, and coming adjusting to the idea of a stepparent with pony club pedigree. I'll make sure they remember there working class roots." I bend to kiss her cheek. 

I smile at my former wife before wandering off to my current one. Vicky will never forgive me entirely for the disaster of my last deployment and PPO recruitment. I don't blame her for the lingering resentment; she did pick up the worst of the fall out with the children. Our respective happiness after the separation does not take away from that initial sting. Coparenting will be a constant process and redesign with the new people in my life. 

** 5: We Will Have A Lifetime of Healing Together  **

Julia is holding my hand for more than customary reasons. 

Julia Montague is one of the strongest people I know, but she needs somebody to take care of her too, not simply the Tory Giant. Aside from the obvious sexual attraction, her need for support draws me in. Of course, it's beyond a cliche for broken people to fix each other, but that's exactly what happened despite all the warnings. 

The wedding day itself is a feat of precision timing and expert logistics, and everybody is playing their roles to perfection. The speeches, teasing and merriment ring out in the hall. My cousins were performing traditional Scottish dancing (without the benefit of much coordination) which is a highlight. Julia and I split up and do the rounds with all the guests. Luckily our social lives are weaving together, so none of the conversations is too awkward. Luckily Roger Penhaligon makes the wise decision to stay away and send a suitably tasteless gift. 

"I think my mother has better stamina for socialising than I do nowadays. I feel like sleeping for a week, which is the lest romantic thing to say to your strapping young husband friend the Highlands. Don't correct my geography people love the fairtyle." Julia advises as we take a break for dessert. 

"Your secret is safe with me, and possible Dr Lee, who is glaring at the presessure you are putting on all his hard work and tendent repairs." I nod over my shoulder towards the doctor and his wife. 

There is a small collection of the profession who we owe in large part of the new life before us. Of course, there is no way to invite all the members of Sampson's exit team or the department psychologists. However, the invitation list reflects everybody who could come. Louisa and Deepak agree to make an appearance for the ceremony, but they are both working on the next big disaster. Fortunately, there is nothing major in the works, and my colleagues can stay for the high points. 

"Lean on me whenever you need, Darling. You can give you friends the chance to gossip about my highland herotics." I suggest seriously. 

** 6: Even if We End In Co-Dependent Flames, It's Worth it  **

There is something profoundly different about standing next to Julia Montague (Budd in certain circles) as her husband. 

I am not a romantic person by nature in the last decade has all but cemented my world view of pragmatism and cynicism. Julia proposing made me unbelievably happy but mainly because it meant I could spend the rest of our lives healing and growing together. The idea of all the traditional and trappings didn't appeal in the slightest. However, there is a notion that we are spending our life together in all ways possible. We are Not a fling hiding in the shadows. 

There is a part of the night I am dreading if I could go through the rest of my natural life without giving another public speech than it would be too soon. PPO personal does not join such departments due to their personalities and a desire for the stoplight. If Charlie and Ella can pull this off, then so can their dad, especially when Julia is beside me grinning broadly. 

"Loving Julia Elizabeth Montigue is the similtaniously the easiest and hardest thing I have ever done." I begin the speech with the truest statement. 

What follows is a carefully selected version of both our pasts and new lives together, complete with the dog. We don't need to go so far aa to run the script by Lousia and Deepak, but there are few specifics or recognisable details. In a genuine sense of our love story didn't begin until Julia's recovery in France. Our first affair was a moment of mutual desperation and struggle. Those close to us will recognise the subtle omissions, but nobody else will. 

Julia blushes and laughs at all the right moments. Her looks promise vengeance when we get home; it will be worthwhile. 

** *** **

Our first dance is a triumph on multiple levels. 

Julia's recovery from her injuries and the after-effects of the Ali terrorism aspiration is still a medical miracle. The bombs and destination radius did their job and almost destroyed several limbs and vital organs. There is no single endpoint in recovery like the TV shows. The doctors are confident that Julia will retrain most functional mobility, and her nerve pain will remain manageable for the rest of her life. However, these reassurances to do not make the prospect of dancing in front of people an easy one. I am not a typical husband. My first thought when we glide out to the centre of the room is not that my bride is beautiful, though she is stunning. I am tracking her ankle placement in those sensible shoes we were still debating last week. 

"There is nothing wrong with my foot placement, Darling." 

"There is nothing wrong with any part of you, but let me know if anything becomes too much." I insist on her hair. 

I laugh at her accurate observation and pull my wife against me as the first strains of music start to play. If there weren't so many Tories in the audience and a few members of my new family, I would let Julia lead. She has far more experience in this kind of display and has a more natural rhythm to boot. However, I manage to get around the dance floor without embarrassing either of us or steeping on her toes. We will be dancing sparingly to give Julia's legs a break. 

I cannot claim that all my memories of Julia Montigue are pleasant. Her first impression on me was intense and striking. So of my best and worst times are tied up into the woman who is now my wife. I am a new person because I wanted to be better for her and build a life where a darling of conservative politics could love and admire a broken solider. Right at this moment is the closest to a perfect memory that we will make together.

If I am going to guard anything, it will be the right to cling to this future with the woman who means everything to me. 


End file.
